The tale of OMG I spent a month in Australia and almost nothing bit me.
If you go on an epic journey, you don’t want to bore people with your endless stories. So I chose some of the fun facts we learnt during the trip or things that really happened (but we still can’t believe in some of them):
We drove over 5000km and actually used one motorway to get from Melbourne to Cairns (the old M1 – Bruce/Princess Highway, which is named one of the most dangerous roads in the world).
They sell horse poo in bags, for 1 AUD, by the road.
A lot of Australians drive their cars barefoot. And I mean it. BAREFOOT.
And when they drive they do it on the LEFT side of the road.
Some locals have never seen a koala in the wild (lots of them actually).
You smell eucalyptus everywhere.
They know where Poland is on the map.
You get free coffee on the motorway (Driver Reviver programme).
Their banknotes are PLASTIC (probably to make surfers’ lives better).
You can lie on the beach and get hit by a coconut – if you don’t die (happens, true story), you may open the coconut and drink the fresh coconut water.
Mango trees grow everywhere – you get mangoes for free!
Koalas are NOT bears and they have active sexual life – they get infected with chlamydia all the time (how ridiculous is this?!)
In some states it is illegal to hold a koala.
You can play Trivia on the motorway (there are big signs with questions and answers).
When you go diving, they mark you on your hand with a number for safety reasons (so now we know how a cow on the farm feels).
Some beaches are fully covered with dead coral fragments (very sharp, don’t recommend walking barefoot).
Christmas time without snow and Polish traditions sucks hairy balls!
Animals we’ve seen in the wild? Oh dear…
Roos, wallabies, koalas, emus, echidnas, cocatoos and millions of other parrots, pelicans, platypuses, praying mantis, big gangs of even bigger bats, sea snakes, sharks (swam with some black and white tips), god damn box jellyfish (able to kill you), giant clams, Nemo <3, stingrays and SPIDERS (giant size, crawling up on you from every possible direction), and so many others…
We haven’t seen a single snake or a crockodile in the wild – not complaining about these two.
And no wombats, unfortunately (only in animal sanctuaries and zoos).
Nothing actually bit us apart from… sand fleas. Our legs were covered with the insects’ bites and we were in pain for about two weeks. Not nice at all.